It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There’s a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good. It’s frightening.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
Being stupid is its own reward
Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.
STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.
I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?!
The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet.
Sure, it’s going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.
I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.
The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
Stop being so stupid.. it’s my turn.
If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing
A break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it.
No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.
Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.
It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye.
Take away love and our earth is a tomb.
- Robert Browning
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
The heart was made to be broken.
- Oscar Wilde
Just give me time and I’ll get over you.
Everyone tells me I should forget about you, you don’t deserve me. They’re right, you don’t deserve me, but I deserve you.
When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. You are no longer alive.
I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.
It’s hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does.
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you
Sometimes the person you really need is the one you didn’t think you wanted.
Moving on is simple, it’s what you leave behind that makes it so difficult.
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.
The pain of having a broken heart is not so much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live.
If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal.
- Astrid Alauda
Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours.
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up.
As soon as forever is through, I’ll be over you.
- Toto
There’s a girl in my mirror crying tonight, and there’s nothing I can say to make her feel all right.
I was born the day I met you, lived a while when you loved me, died a little when we broke apart.
The worst way to love someone is to sit next to them, knowing they don’t love you back.
Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.
- Lamartine
I don’t want to keep being the girl that keeps crying about the same things.
You don’t realize how much you care about someone until they don’t care about you.
A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
How clever you are, my dear! You never mean a single word you say.
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
It’s good to be clever, but not to show it.
God is clever, but not dishonest.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Clever people master life; the wise illuminate it and create fresh difficulties.
They have to be clever, cunning, imaginative, dogged and wily, whereas society merely has to lean its weight a little.
To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
Clever men are good, but they are not the best.
Clever people will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness.
Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.
Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
If you’re not very clever you should be conciliatory.
Two things are infinite : the universe and human stupidity; I’m not sure about the universe.
Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
Patience is not a virtue, it is a waste of time.
A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns.
Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.
Pressure makes diamonds.
Between thought and expression lies a lifetime.
You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.
I wish you weren’t in my dreams.
If you can’t save the relationship, at least save your pride.
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him
You can’t just let nature run wild.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
I cannot tell you how grateful I am — I am filled with humidity.
The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.
Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.
Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.
I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
There is a devil in every berry of the grape.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
I drink to forget I drink.
I would take a bomb, but I can’t stand the noise.
Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.
Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesn’t hold water.
The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
The whole world is about three drinks behind.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
In America any boy may become President and I suppose it’s just one of the risks he takes.
The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.
How often we fail to realize our good fortune in living in a country where happiness is more than a lack of tragedy.
America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
I like America, just as everybody else does. I love America, I gotta say that. But America will be judged.
America is a tune. It must be sung together.
I love America more than any other country in this world; and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.
America is a nation with many flaws, but hopes so vast that only the cowardly would refuse to acknowledge them.
This country will not be a good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a good place for all of us to live in.
What the people want is very simple. They want an America as good as its promise.
An American is a man with two arms and four wheels.
You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.
England and America are two countries separated by the same language.
America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar, and use it up in two weeks.
When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white man came, an Indian said simply, “Ours.”
If anyone attempts to hall down the American flag shoot him on the spot.
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
Sometimes people call me an idealist. Well, that is the way I know I am an American. America is the only idealistic nation in the world.
America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
The United States is the only country with a known birthday.
Not merely a nation but a nation of nations.
Ours is the only country deliberately founded on a good idea.
Beauty lies in the specific looks of a person, rather than the object, because different people feel beauty in differnt things.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.
The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.
For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it.
Poetry lifts the veil from the hidden beauty of the world, and makes familiar objects be as if they were not familiar.”
Beauty is one of the rare things that do not lead to doubt of God.
I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want—an adorable pancreas ?
It is not sufficient to see and to know the beauty of a work. We must feel and be affected by it
Beauty seen is never lost, God’s colors all are fast.
When a woman isn’t beautiful, people tell her : You have lovely eyes, you have lovely hair.
Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.
Beauty is not real. Beauty only exists in perception.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
Beauty Parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.
The beauty of male has not yet been portrayed by the only one who can do so-the female.
By plucking her petals, You do not gather the beauty of the flower.
Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.
She was a beauty in her youth a fact which she alone remembers.
We need an America with the wisdom of experience. But we must not let America grow old in spirit.
The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth.
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.
America is the greatest, freest and most decent society in existence. It is an oasis of goodness in a desert of cynicism and barbarism. This country, once an experiment unique in the world, is now the last best hope for the world.
There is nothing wrong with America that the faith, love of freedom, intelligence and energy of her citizens cannot cure.
Only Americans can hurt America.
America is a young country with an old mentality.
In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is. That is what makes America what it is.
America will never run… And we will always be grateful that liberty has found such brave defenders.
By heritage and by choice, the United States of America will make that stand.
A new baby is like the beginning of all things, hope, a dream of possibilities.
A baby is an angel whose wings decrease while his legs increase.
Children reinvent your world for you.
A baby is a blank cheque made payable to the human race.
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
A baby is born with the need to be love and never outgrows it.
Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.
The hardest job facing kids today is to learn good manners without seeing any.
Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last.
Every new born baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.
A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.
Babies are such a sweet and nice way to start people.
Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit. They hold the baby and I go out.
A baby is an in-estimable blessing and a bother.
Every child born into the world is a new thought of God, an ever fresh and radiant possibility.
Babies are always more trouble than you thought and more wonderful.
The worst feature of a new born baby is to have his mother’s singing.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have any.
I don’t know whether they should say “You have a baby” Or “The baby has you”.
When I was born I was so surprised I couldn’t talk for a year and a half.
All babies need a lap.
Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Stop trying to perfect your children, but keep trying to perfect your relationship with them.
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.
What’s right about America is that although we have a mess of problems, we have great capacity – intellect and resources – to do some thing about them.
In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.
